It's God's Money, and He Needs it NOW!

When I was in Chicago's Millennium Park with some friends a couple of weeks ago, a homeless man approached us, selling copies of the Onion newspaper. He assured me that if I gave him money, the “Good Lord” would repay me.

Why are the homeless so devout? I think it has more to do with the mentality of the religious than the poor. I doubt people in such circumstances are as pious as they appear; they’re simply using an emotional appeal to target Christians. Although we need not pass judgement on those in dire straits, religious leaders aren't exactly living on the streets. Christianity has always loved to incorporate guilt into its doctrine, and this case does nothing to contradict the tradition. This is especially evident in congregational offerings. I was an usher at my local Methodist church for over four years, and have seen how hundreds have been manipulated into funding an unworthy cause.

Each church service is planned beforehand, and the offering is placed where it will maximize income. This varies according to the tone and subject of the sermon, but tends to fall near the end of the message. While music is played (with underlying themes of parting with one’s wealth), the collection plate is passed through the pews. It baffles me why schools don’t teach this as an example of peer pressure, because clearly these “Love Offerings” are more effective than any drug dealer or school miscreant could aspire to be.

As if this isn't enough, churches also use scripture to coax cash from the congregation. Commonly cited in sermons, Mark 12: 41-44 suggests that even those in extreme poverty should donate what little they have to the Church. It’s easy to attribute a sense of heroism to the “poor widow”, but when we look at it rationally we realize that her “few cents” were only adding to the wealth of the Church. Even if we look at modern churches, those that claim to help the poor, who would be more deserving of aid than the widow? Clearly the woman should have pocketed her coins and moved on. In other places, however, the Bible’s errancy is clearer. If Christians truly believed in their sacred book, I’d be tempted to take all they own – wearing a shirt with Luke 6:30 printed on the front.

Religious leaders are admittedly more successful at fleecing believers than the homeless, but they both use similar tactics. (Although the case for the latter is much more forgivable). If you truly want to donate, put your money behind an organization that publishes how much doesn’t end up in the hands of the deserving. It’s all nice and dandy if I tell you, “It’s better to give than to receive,” but it’s rather twisted if I then tell you to give to me.

P.S. - Atheism is a non-profit organization. (Wink wink).