Illini Secular Student Alliance: March 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

ISSAn't it nice to be back?!?

Posted by ISSA at 11:22 AM

Welcome back, invigorated irreligionists!

We're now scant hours away from the second bar crawl of the semester. The year may be winding down, but we -- your loving ISSA officership -- have still got a few tricks up our sleeves. Read on for details. We'll keep you entertained now through Reading Day!

THIS WEEK (READ ME!)--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This week's meeting will be at the usual time in the usual place: Thursday, March 31th at 7pm in Mechanical Engineering Building, room 253. Click here for a map.

On the agenda...

Election season is upon us! This week, we'll be discussing elections and officership, covering many fascinating topics such as how the election process will work, what the different positions are, and why you should seriously consider running for a position. Being an officer is a superb opportunity to become more involved with the group and making it the best it can be. Lord knows we're all Birthers here, so you better bring proof of your country of origin!

ISSA at Murphy's

After the meeting, we'll adjourn to Murphy's, as is our tradition. We welcome anyone and everyone who can make it, regardless of whether or not you plan to drink. It's a great chance to get to know us -- your officers -- better!

ISSA Barcrawl -- March 29th

Another one? So soon? Heck yes! Join us Tuesday, March 29th at 9pm for the usual hedonistic revelry! Make sure to RSVP via the Facebook event page... Be there or be square!

UPCOMING EVENTS (NEW THINGS ADDED!)-------------------------------------------------------

Food for Freethought @ Karthik's -- April 3rd

Food for Freethought is making its illustrious return this coming Sunday, April 3rd at 1PM! We may be doing it at Karthik's again, but at this point location still TBA. For more info (rides, location), just reply to this email or request to join our Food for Freethought email list.

Interfaith Bake Sale -- April 8th

We'll be teaming up with the Muslim Student Alliance and Navigators to hawk scrumptious baked goods and raise money for the Japanese tsunami relief effort! All proceeds will benefit Doctors Without Borders.

Michael Shermer -- April 12th

Following the success of our first whack at Ask An Atheist last month, we're working with the national Secular Student Alliance to launch a national event! Read about National Ask-An-Atheist Day (Wednesday, April 13th) here, and RSVP via the Facebook event page. There are already more than 200 people attending!

American Atheists Conference (READ IF INTERESTED)-- April 22nd through 24th

This April, we will be driving to Des Moines Iowa for the annual American Atheists conference! It's a solid five-and-a-half hour drive... You know what that means -- ROADTRIP! With many awesome speakers on the roster (most notably Christopher Hitchens), this get-together promises to be worthwhile! Generally speaking, conferences are oodles of fun, and a great way to get to know your fellow members better! And we got SORF funding so it will be very inexpensive. More details about the event here. If you're interested put your name and info on our sign-up sheet.IMPORTANT NOTE: It is highly recommended that if you're interested you sign up by this Wednesday, March 30th as that is the deadline for getting the majorly-discounted student tickets. Get 'em now at the low, low price of just $20!

Election Day -- April 28th

It's that time again! The last meeting of the semester will be devoted to choosing our officership for the coming academic year! And everyone knows that nothing goes as well together as elections and a pizza party, so expect some freshly-delivered pizza at the door.

Open call for blog entries -- ONGOING
Got something secular(ish) on your mind? BLOG ABOUT IT! Posts from members are always welcome and wanted -- email illiniSSA@illinois.edu if you're interested.

Love,
ISSA

_______________________________________________________
Can't get enough of us? ISSA online!

ISSA Blog: http://uiucatheists.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2252245006
Flickr Photostream: http://www.flickr.com/photos/uiucatheists
Email: IlliniSSA@illinois.edu

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Is Nothing Sacred to the Religious?

Posted by Sam Shore at 1:35 AM

First they came for the corpse of Jimi Hendrix and made Christian rock, but I did nothing for I was not a rock star. Then they came for the badass Old Testament take-no-shit God and remade him into some hippie named Jesus, but I did nothing for I was not a deity. Then they came for the strippers and wrought Christian pole dancing, but I did nothing because I don't like the way my ass looks in short shorts. But then there was no one left when they came to make a lamer version of me.

Lifetime Movie Pending

If left unchecked, recent developments at a health club in the Texas settlement of Old Town Spring may irreparably tarnish the good unwholesome fun we as a society have come to enjoy from strippers everywhere. The Best Shape of your Life fitness center has a pole dancing workout class for its woman members one Sunday a month, but lurking within this commonplace toning/arousing activity lies a more insidious tale: These women are pole dancing for Jesus. Set to Christian rock, these pious women claim that their actions are NOT sexual in intent. In response to this assertion, the question must be posed: WHY? The salsa, waltz, Dougie, whatever it is that Cirque de Soleil does... All there for the Christifying. But pole dancing is a step. Too. Far.

To those ladies of faith around the world who may be thinking of emulating the actions of these devout women of the pole in Texas, I implore you to have some decency and refrain from this encroachment upon the pure expression of whorishness that is the pole dance. Blaze a new trail and Soulja Boy for your lord.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Rapture is Coming... Psyche!

Posted by Rebecca Tippens at 11:31 PM

...But really, I wish! It certainly would speed the worldwide trend towards secularism along, and I for one would consider the mark of the beast a welcome addition to my growing tattoo collection.

As May 21st rapidly approaches, I'm seeing more and more articles like this one lauding the cockamamy, pseudo-scientific end-of-the-world hypotheses of biblical scholar Harold Camping. More than a year ago, the mathematical puritan in me was so perturbed by Camping's assertions (and, for that matter, arithmetic) in said article that I was prompted to write the following response. I'm told the post-tribulation antichrist won't look kindly upon my impudent musings, so I thought I'd share it sooner rather than later.

From the article:

“By Camping's understanding, the Bible was dictated by God and every word and number carries a spiritual significance. He noticed that particular numbers appeared in the Bible at the same time particular themes are discussed.

The number 5, Camping concluded, equals "atonement." Ten is "completeness." Seventeen means "heaven." Camping patiently explained how he reached his conclusion for May 21, 2011.

"Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D.," he began. "Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that's 1,978 years."

Camping then multiplied 1,978 by 365.2422 days - the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.

Next, Camping noted that April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500.

Camping realized that (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500.

Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.

"Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story," Camping said. "It's the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you're completely saved.

"I tell ya, I just about fell off my chair when I realized that," Camping said.”

My translation:

"Okay, so I found these three numbers which God mentioned in the Bible: 5, 10, and 17. There were others, of course, but I chose to ignore them. I had to multiply my choices, because adding them only gets you 32, and that’s just too small to mean anything. When you multiply them, you get 850. Of course, 850 days from Christ’s death was only like 2 years, 3 months and 28 days later, which was stupid. I knew I shouldn't try cubing 850, because that would put the rapture 1,681,418 years, 190 days and 14 hours after Christ's death, and I wouldn't be alive then – What’s the point of even calculating this crap if it doesn’t directly affect me?? That's when I figured I should probably try squaring 850 and -- VOILA! -- 722,500 days. I divided that by the number of days in a solar year, and magically got 1,978 years, which put the rapture in April of 2011. I had a remainder of 51 days, which was threatening to make me look stupid, so I threw it in the mix. Ta da! May 21st, 2011. Of course, presenting my "mathematical process” step by step was simply not impressive when done forwards, because the odds that the square of (5x17x10) would equal what it ACTUALLY EQUALS would be, of course, 1:1. Naturally, I reversed my process to make it seem like some huge coincidence, and prayed that no one would be discerning enough to realize that I never named any factor to justify the remainder of 51 days. I hope you will share in this momentous date with me by making an ornate paper hat out of your bible and wearing it as we huddle in a church for hours on end, waiting to die.

...That being said, the Secular Student Alliance is sponsoring a Rapture Day conference at Wichita State University on May 21st, and it promises to be quite a show! I hear there's no better way to wile away the doomsday than in Kansas with Blair Scott, Dr. Darrel Ray, Richard Carrier, David Fitzgerald, JT Eberhard and Sam Singleton!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

4 Last-Minute Lent Suggestions for the Catholic Church

Posted by Sam Shore at 5:01 PM

For a week now, the Catholic world has been in the period of Lent between Mardi Gras and Easter Sunday. This means that all over the globe, upwards of a billion Catholics are reflecting on their faith and giving up vices in the name of piety. Now, knowing the Pope and his buddies, in the rush of trying to find a caterer for the midnight Mardi Gras bash in Saint Peter’s Square and organizing volunteers to staff the Ash Wednesday altar boy spelling bee, right about now they’re slapping themselves on the head at how they totally blanked on picking something to give up for Lent. As an outside observer, I thought it might be constructive to offer a few humble suggestions:

Protecting child molesters- While it is somewhat understandable that in a worldwide institution there are bound to be a few bad eggs on the payroll, it’s pretty unacceptable to actively seek to ensure that those who diddle children escape punishment. Especially when it seems to be corporate policy.

A pad like this might be worth
lifelong virginity...

Holding massive wealth- The Pope and his posse live richly, adorned in finery unprecedented even amongst world leaders of the modern age, and Vatican City’s chambers would make an average episode of MTV’s “Cribs” look like it was filmed in one of the more poverty-stricken regions of Detroit. And then there are further church holdings the world over. All as individual Catholics struggle to pay the tithe under the weight of the global economic crisis. Who was it that said, "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven"? And besides, the robe and pointy hat look is so 17^th century.

Homophobia- Everyone has their personal prejudices, but few are as institutionalized as the religious world’s stance against homosexual relationships. Come on guys, we went through this with slavery and you just had to fess up later after everyone else had realized how backwards of a practice it was. You’re dangerously approaching the time past which it is no longer acceptable to claim you were shooting for being fashionably late to the gay love party.

Fear mongering against reproductive health- Though anti-scientific rhetoric has been kept on the down-low in the Western world (recently, if not historically), in Africa where the tide of the HIV/AIDS epidemic might be stemmed with the application of cheap latex, Church officials have sought to discredit the effectiveness of condoms. It's situations like this where the Church has to learn to differentiate between centuries-old superstitions and the moral good of saving lives which condoms represent.

If someone has Pope Benedict's Skype handle or maybe could whisper him on World of Warcraft about this list, I feel these changes might be beneficial to the Church's lifestyle, and perhaps if the Lenten trial period works out they could be put into practice on a more permanent basis.

Hang in there! Spring Break ISSA only a few days away!

Posted by ISSA at 12:58 PM

Greetings, hebetudinous heathens!

It's midterm week, and we know your brains are nearing that special kind of fried that only a week's vacation can remedy... Well, drink a cup of coffee and hang in there one more day. We've got a great meeting in store for you this week!

THIS WEEK (READ ME!)--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This week's meeting will be at the usual time in the usual place: Thursday, March 17th at 7pm in Mechanical Engineering Building, room 253. Click here for a map.

On the agenda...

Michael Scoville will be speaking to us about animal ethics and how religious and secular perspectives play into the way we treat other creatures! Scoville is a doctoral candidate at the here at U of I and has taught classes like 'World Religions', 'Intro to Ethics', and 'Religion, Ethics, and the Environment.'

ISSA at Murphy's

UPCOMING EVENTS (NEW THINGS ADDED!)-------------------------------------------------------

ISSA Barcrawl -- March 29th
Another one? So soon? Heck yes! Join us Tuesday, March 29th at 9pm for the usual hedonistic revelry! Make sure to RSVP via the Facebook event page... Be there or be square!

Food for Freethought @ Location TBA -- April 3rd
Food for Freethought is off this week, but we'll be back Sunday, April 3rd (the weekend after break) at some location to be announced. For more info (rides, location), just reply to this email or request to join our Food for Freethought email list.

Michael Shermer -- April 12th

We could not be more pleased to announce Michael Shermer as one of this semester's speakers! Mr. Shermer is a very active member of the skeptic community, author of Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time, and even gave a rousing TED talk a few years back!

National Ask-An-Atheist Day 2011 - April 13th
Following the success of our first whack at Ask An Atheist last month, we're working with the national Secular Student Alliance to launch a national event! Read about National Ask-An-Atheist Day (Wednesday, April 13th) here, and RSVP via the Facebook event page.

American Atheists Conference -- April 22nd through 24th

Want to help make ISSA awesome?
As strange as it sounds, it's already time to start thinking about elections for next year! If you think you may want to be involved and have questions/comments/concerns, simply respond to this email or talk to Franklin (or another officer) sometime, and we can discuss what positions might be right for you.

Love,
ISSA

Monday, March 14, 2011

National Ask An Atheist Day

Posted by Franklin at 9:45 PM

Last month, ISSA decided to organize our very own Ask An Atheist Day after hearing of Purdue University's success with a similar endeavor. The event was intended as an opportunity for the general public -- particularly people of faith -- to approach us and ask questions about secular life. We solicited volunteers from our membership to man a booth at which we prominently displayed an FAQ sheet clearing up some of the most common misconceptions about nonbelievers. We outfitted these members with stickers reading, "Atheist... Ask Away!" and distributed flyers with information about our group. The experience was generally rewarding, but perhaps the greatest gauge of its success came when one of our own found himself answering questions from campus cafeteria workers while standing in line for pizza later that evening. Encouraged by the experience, we were inspired to create National Ask An Atheist Day 2011 on Wednesday, April 13th -- a day on which secular student groups across the country can work together to defeat stereotypes about atheism and encourage courteous dialogue between believers and nonbelievers alike.

We're hoping that, by asking secular groups nationwide to join us in celebration, we can draw more attention to the event as a whole and increase awareness -- maybe even help Ask An Atheist catch on within the larger secular community!

Are you an officer or member of a secular group? Here's how you can get involved!

Table during the day and hand out flyers, FAQ sheets, etc. Gather volunteers to answer questions for passersby.
Print (or contact the SSA for) some of these snazzy "Atheist... Ask Away!" stickers and distribute them to your membership (and/or any willing members of the secular community) before the event. Ask them to wear the stickers Wednesday, April 13th as they go about daily routines.

You can download a PDF of the sticker design HERE.

The stickers are aligned for printing on Avery 5395 Name Badge Label Paper (or any label paper which explicitly states that it's equivalent to Avery 5395). We suggest Matte White. Please note that normal printing will offset the alignment -- you must select BORDERLESS printing. You can usually find this setting under [Print Properties].

RSVP via our Facebook event page, and help spread the word!

Together, we can work towards a more peaceful world, free of the prejudice that so often plagues nonbelievers. Join us in celebration, and there's a distinct possibility you'll be able to look back on this and say you participated in the first ever National Ask An Atheist Day -- the event that started it all!

UPDATE: For additional resources, click here.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Church-State Crusader Cleanses Creationism from Classroom

Posted by Mat Rayman at 5:46 PM

From the Chicago Tribune via Skeptic Money.

Rob Sherman continues his tireless efforts to keep religion out of schools and government.

Libertyville High School officials have confirmed that a teacher was referencing creationism in a science classroom, and said steps have been taken to ensure the religious views are eliminated from the curriculum.

Community High School District 128 administrators were responding to comments during a recent school board meeting, where Buffalo Grove-based activist Rob Sherman said he had been contacted by a student's older sibling. The student had complained that a biology and human genetics teacher, Beau Schaefer, had been promoting creationist beliefs and attempting to discredit evolution, Sherman said.

Active members of the group may recall that we brought Sherman to speak about his activism last semester. Some highlights include fighting the mandatory moment of silence in Illinois schools, challenging a Ten Commandments monument in Marion, IL, and suing over a state grant to the Bald Knob Cross in Southern Illinois. Unfortunately, it seems that he's had some setbacks lately, so this victory is heartening.

The full story is here.

Sherman's website

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It would be inadvISSAble to miss this week's meeting.

Posted by ISSA at 6:26 PM

Greetings, gnarly non-believers!

We hope you thoroughly enjoyed your Unofficial! Now that you're (hopefully) sobered up let's take a look at all the exciting things we have going on:

THIS WEEK (READ ME!)--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DIFFERENT LOCATION!

Yep, you heard right! This week's meeting (and only this week's) will be in Gregory Hall, room 319. Same day of the week and time as usual though: Thursday, March 10th at 7pm. The building is on the quad, right next to Foellinger. Click here for a map.

On the agenda...

This week we're having Greta Christina, atheist/LGBT blogger, coming in to talk to us! She's written a lot of interesting stuff, some related to atheism and some not (for a short sample of her work, check out Are We having Sex Now or What?). She'll talk about scripture, spirituality, secularism, and sex, and explore such questions as, "How can individuals view sexual ethics without a belief in God?" and "How can people view sexual transcendence without a belief in the supernatural?" Invite your friends and say you're attending through the facebook event!

ISSA at Murphy's (with Greta!)

After the meeting Greta will be coming with us to Murphy's, so if you want to talk to her more come along!

UPCOMING EVENTS (NEW THINGS ADDED!)-------------------------------------------------------

Michael Shermer -- April 12th
We could not be more pleased to announce Michael Shermer as one of this semester's speakers! Mr. Shermer is a very active member of the skeptic community, author of Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time, and even gave a rousing TED talk a few years back!

American Atheists Conference- April 22st-24th

This April we are going to drive to Iowa to go to the annual American Atheists conference, this year in Des Moines, Iowa. It's about a five and a half hour drive, so we will be having a ROADTRIP! Among many awesome speakers will be none other than Christopher Hitchens, so you will definitely want to come. Conferences are a great way to get to know your members better and are a lot of fun in general. More details about the event here, and If you're interested put your name and info on our sign-up sheet.

Love,
ISSA

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

We find your lack of faith dISSAturbing.

Posted by ISSA at 10:48 PM

Greetings, tipsy heretics!

If you made it to last week's ISSA Barcrawl, you're probably almost sober again by now... Just in time for Unofficial! We beseech you -- stay with it another 48 hours! Good stuff to come...

THIS WEEK --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This week's meeting will be at the usual time in the usual place: Thursday, March 3rd at 7pm in Mechanical Engineering Building, room 253. Click here for a map.

On the agenda...

We are delighted to welcome ISSA's founder, Chris Calvey, back for what promises to be a fascinating presentation on his area of academic expertise! Specifically, Chris will address the study behind a paper he recently helped author (Creation of a Bacterial Cell Controlled by a Chemically Synthesized Genome) and the implications it has on the question of God's existence!

On another note, CLUB TEES ARE IN! Get yours ASAP! Only $12, cash or check. Please make checks payable to Ben Ostick.

ISSA at Murphy's!

Food for Freethought @ Karthik's -- March 6th

Food for Freethought will be at Karthik's apartment this week! Whoa! Brace yourself for some yummy Indian and/or vegetarian fare at 12pm, Sunday. If you want more info (rides, location), just reply to this email or request to join our Food for Freethought email list!

UPCOMING EVENTS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greta Christina -- March 10th
We're thrilled to welcome atheist blogger, sexpert and LGBT advocate Greta Christina to the U of I campus! A few of our members had the honor of seeing Ms. Christina speak at Skepticon this year, and are raving about her even now! For this speaking event, our weekly meeting (7pm Thursday) will be in the roomier Gregory Hall 319.

ISSA Party - March 12th

Our party has been pushed back a week. Note the change! Details and a Facebook event page to come.

Ask An Atheist II - April 8th

It's baaaaccccckkkk! And this one's gonna be bigger and better! Further details pending, but we want to get each and every one of you in on this round of Ask An Atheist -- stickers and all.

Michael Shermer -- April 12th

We could not be more pleased to announce Michael Shermer as one of this semester's speakers! Mr. Shermer is a very active member of the skeptic community, author of several books, including Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time, and even gave a rousing TED talk a few years back! The talk will be held in MSEB 100.

Open call for blog entries -- ONGOING

Got something secular(ish) on your mind? BLOG ABOUT IT! Articles from members are always welcome, and much appreciated -- email IlliniSSA@illinois.edu if you're interested or have any questions!

...And much more to come!
Keep up with our emails! This is shaping up to be an eventful semester, and we want you on board.

<3 <3 <3
Your ISSA Officers

_______________________________________________________

Can't get enough of us? ISSA online!

ISSA Blog: http://uiucatheists.blogspot.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2252245006

Flickr Photostream: http://www.flickr.com/photos/uiucatheists

Email: IlliniSSA@illinois.edu

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

ISSAn't it nice to be back?!?

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Is Nothing Sacred to the Religious?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Rapture is Coming... Psyche!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

4 Last-Minute Lent Suggestions for the Catholic Church

Hang in there! Spring Break ISSA only a few days away!

Monday, March 14, 2011

National Ask An Atheist Day

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Church-State Crusader Cleanses Creationism from Classroom

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It would be inadvISSAble to miss this week's meeting.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

We find your lack of faith dISSAturbing.

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