Sunday, April 24, 2011
Posted by Edward Clint at 5:05 PM
Also, I want Easter to also be about celebrating Central Limit Theorem.
10. Human sacrifice is a disgusting, barbaric concept. Doesn't matter if this one case really happened or not.
9. You probably didn't need to gain those 5 pounds.
8. One thing the Earth doesn't need? More fertility. There are 7 billion of us. We can probably stop celebrating our reproductive success now.
7. If you know you can't die, then resurrection is a parlour trick, not a meaningful event.
6. Parents lying to their children sometimes leads to said kids developing more skepticism, but it almost always increases mistrust and resentment, which no family needs any of.
5. Confirms my Cocoa-Deity Superiority hypothesis. Whenever God and chocolate compete, God always loses. See also: Halloween, Christmas.
4. You get to learn who the fair-weather Christianity fans are through the magic and idiocy of Facebook.
3. Necessarily, if subconsciously, connects Catholicism with the innocent amusement of children. Thus, Easter serves as a subtle psychological reminder of the Vatican's unworldly opinion of child rapists.
2. Eggs are fucking delicious. It's surprising we let any of them turn into chickens.
1. More concerned about celebrating sex than any other holidays (especially you, Arbor Day. Yeah, I went there. Fuck you Arbor Day!)
Happy Easter, kids.